Dogs in Bed

People frequently ask me where their dog should sleep. This can be a highly personal matter. Some people assume that a dog’s place is outside. Others take the view that the dog is a member of the family. If you don’t want to live with your dog, why have one? I think that a dog that sleeps inside will be less likely to become a nuisance barker at night. The dog will be better able to protect you if you have an intruder. A puppy will bond with you if sleeping nearby. However, you must establish a few ground rules. The dog should be taught house manners, including being confined to a mat or basket, rather than running riot at night.
Within days of coming into your house your new dog will have sussed out where the pack leader sleeps (the most important place in the pack’s territory), what is the most comfortable spot to lie down and rest (probably the couch), where the food is kept and what you have to do to get it (look cute and whinge).

One sensible way of looking at it is that allowing your dog on the furniture is not a problem. What matters is whether you can ask your dog to get off. If you catch yourself saying “He won’t let me pull him off the couch” or “Oops! Don’t try to sit in his chair” you have a leadership problem.

If you sit on your couch and teach your dog to lie down on a mat at your feet, you teach the dog what its status is in the pack. It’s also a practical way of controlling unruliness inside the house.
 A dog that sleeps on the floor in the bedroom will be content to be part of the group, but on a lower level than its leaders (you). I would generally have a new dog tethered at the foot of the bed, on the floor. Later, I would let the dog up on the bed as a privilege. If it’s not a problem, it’s not a problem. If the dog thinks he is sharing your bed, rather than the other way around, dominance will not be an issue. If you do not want your dog to be so close to you, the family room or laundry are popular alternatives.

If you find you dog becoming bossy, guarding favourite spots, you may need expert help. If you have been sick, and have spent a lot of time in bed, with your dog in the room or on the bed, you may find that the dog becomes over-protective of your shared den.

The no-nonsense British dog trainer, Barbara Woodhouse, told the story of being summoned on an emergency house call to deal with a dog that had taken up position in the middle of the bed, snarling, and would not allow the man of the house into the bedroom. She of course marched in and said “Stop this nonsense. Get off at once!” (or words to that effect) and the dog slunk away. I remember reading a doggy “agony aunt” column in New York in which a young women asked for advice because her dog would not allow her new boyfriend to enter the bedroom. The advice of the columnist was “get rid of your boyfriend. Your dog’s got better taste than you.” Different places, different values.

Whether its morally, aesthetically or behaviourally correct to allow your dog to sleep on your bed, you might end up thinking it is just plain uncomfortable. Fiona was a client of mine with a large male dog who was in the habit of retiring to his basket for a daytime nap with a pair of her lace knickers to rest his head upon. When, for various reasons, she brought him into her bedroom at night, there was much restlessness. As she told me: “So I said to him, darling, if you can’t stop wriggling, you’ll just have to go and sleep in the spare room.” I swear that to this day, I don’t know whether she was referring to her husband or the dog!

© Kaye Hargreaves 2008, may be reproduced with acknowledgement; www.kayehargeaves.com